All I ever wanted on our journey was for someone to give me the magic pill or the exact antidote that would guarantee a baby in my arms. Unfortunately, for most of us who struggle that does not exist. Even when the doctors find one little thing that is a bit off, it’s still just a possibility that it is a contributing factor to fertility issues.
If it was a matter of what I needed to eat, I would have ten kids by now. If it was a matter of ‘just relaxing,’ easier said than done, I would have spent a year at the spa. If there was that magic pill, I would have taken it, whatever it was, but that’s just not been our situation.
This week is a week near and dear to my heart and yet I never imagined it would be the case at all. When Anthony and I got married, we planned out the house, the kids, and we were certain it would just naturally unfold. And when it didn’t turn out any way that we anticipated, we fought, and we fought, and then we even fought some more. And here we are, still fighting. And this week, National Infertility Awareness Week, we are not alone.
One in 8 couples struggle with infertility. It comes in all shapes and sizes, and many forms. Many do it in silence. But that doesn’t have to be the case. Not at all.
The faces of infertility are every color, every race, and not just those pushing 40 and beyond. The faces of infertility have one child and have tried again and again for number two with no luck. The faces of infertility look like your sister, your friend, the woman at the grocery. There are so many faces out there. Walk through the mall, count them, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7…and she is 8.
Please, please PLEASE, do not tell her to relax. Do not tell her to just stop thinking about it. Do not tell her to get on an adoption list and then she will get pregnant. Do not say to her, “Isn’t it about time for number 2?” Do not ask her when she is going to give you a grand baby. No matter how much you want to, don’t say “everything happens for a reason,” or “everything that happens is meant to be.” Be sensitive just about what you say, in any situation, especially around pregnancy. It’s not always easy, and I know people mean well, but just think before you speak. Once I was at work with two pregnant coworkers and a woman laughed, “Gee, there must be something in the water around here! Everyone is pregnant!” Of course I was in tears in the back moments later because, no, everyone was NOT pregnant. I know she didn’t mean to be hurtful, but stuff like that can just be the worst.
So then what DO you do? Well, sometimes saying nothing is better. Sometimes listening is what she needs. If you detect maybe there are struggles, leave space for her to reach out or just send her a note of love and that you are always thinking about her. Just be there and when the time is right, listen. Other than that, just be aware. That is the purpose of this week, awareness. Your awareness alone can bring sensitivity to the topic. Your awareness can help you maneuver the topic a bit better.
And that brings me to one last thing. In honor of this week, I am teaming up with Liz of Bumps to Baby and other beautiful women across the country to walk in support of those who struggle. We are hosting a virtual walk this Saturday, April 29th. Just walk, wherever you are. Walk in support for all of the women you probably know, but have no idea of their struggle. Join us! Learn more by following this link.
Thank you so much for all of your continued support–your prayers, your thoughts, kind words, notes, and so much more. Thank you!
In honor of this week, I thought I would bring a recipe with fertility boosting nutrients. Overall, whole foods are where it’s at, but iron is one of the things that is good to get in when you are trying to conceive. And one of my favorite sources of iron is none other than: oats! (I am sure you guessed that one!)
Overnight oats, oatmeal bites, recipes with oat flour and so much more pack in the extra iron that your body needs. And it’s always great to get it into your diet in a super tasty way. Poppy seeds were actually used in ancient times to aid in fertility, but from what I have read it is mainly the oil that is said to have the benefits. But we will add these just in case, anyway!
Regardless of whether you are looking to enhance your chances of pregnancy, these pancakes are a wholesome, healthy meal that anyone can enjoy!
- 1 1/4 c oat flour regular or gluten free, you can make this by blending about 1 1/2 c oats
- 3/4 c unsweetened almond milk or milk of choice
- 2 eggs
- Juice of 1 lemon
- Zest of 1 lemon
- 1 T poppy seeds
- 1 T pure maple syrup or honey or sweetener of choice
- 1 T coconut oil melted
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp sea salt
- In a medium bowl, whisk eggs.
- Add milk, oil, and sweetener, lemon juice and zest and whisk.
- Mix dry ingredients in a separate bowl and then slowly add to wet ingredients and stir.
- Pour batter into desired pancake size on medium heat griddle.
- Heat until edges are bubbled and flip. Cook until golden brown.
- Serve immediately and enjoy!